ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
