I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
