Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
