Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
id be glad to
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
