hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
