So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
