did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
