I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
