PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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