Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
is it fun? or sober?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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