Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
