and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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