U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
