I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
