therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Damn victory sex feels great
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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