Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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