I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
