The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
