u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
