I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
