I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
