I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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