I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
