what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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