ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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