We named our party play list daddy issues
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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