My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
