thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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