Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
