he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We left an ass print on the piano.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
