You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize