Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She announced her abortion via fbk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
