there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
