i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize