so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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