You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
