we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
