You smell like a Billy Joel song
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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