i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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