the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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