Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
