You just made me feel so damn special
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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