Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
