oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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