I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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