I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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