You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
