we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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