I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize