There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
