I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
