My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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