Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize