How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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