don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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