I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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