now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
