you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my being single is dangerous.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize