This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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