his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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