very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
