he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
this boner is exhausting
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize