Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish I only lived at night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
