Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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