For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
