He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
