Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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