morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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