I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize